I'm going to be a writer ....

… and this time I really mean it.

No, really, I’m going to do this.

Okay, I’ve been saying this for how long?

Since I finished the draft of the memoir and am now giving it to the editor, that means I have to let go of it.

I’m not very good at letting go. I have this desire to just check it over one more time and tweak just a couple more things. But, that is counter-productive, so I know I just have to let it go and walk away, until she gives it back.

So in the meantime I’m supposed to be writing something else, right? I’ve told you all I would, I told myself I would. So what is the problem?

Well, I can come up with about a million other things to do than sit down and just write. Yeah, that fear thing is there, don’t want to write badly so why write at all, there are so many things I want to read, my room could use a good cleaning … you get the idea.

The most common kind of advice given is to write every day. Even if it is crappy writing, do it anyway, make writing a habit. You know, from the way I talk you would think I don’t like writing at all, I make it sound so hard and like such mundane work.

Hard to explain, but I love writing. It I think is just this weird thing to me now, now that I want to call myself a writer I have somehow attached all these rules and things to writing, like that it has to be writing for a purpose, you know, either a book or an article, to sell, something worthwhile that others would want to read. My biggest rule seems to be that it has to be good. Why? No clue. Type A personality perhaps?

In reality, I kind of lost sight of what I loved about writing to begin with, just writing, off the top of my head, for no other reason than I enjoyed it.

So that is what I want to get back to, because I do think that I have the ability to write things that others might want to read, I just gotta stop thinking that is the only writing I can do. I can do any kind I want, even lousy writing just for the fun of it.

So, this is the plan….

In case you are wondering, do you realize how I am using you all as my conscience? I figure if I tell you what my plan is then I become somewhat accountable to all of you to do what I said I was going to do. Not that any of you really cares whether I follow through or not, but humor me here, pretend as if you do.

So anyway, back to the plan …

I am going to schedule time every morning to write.

Butt in the chair, sign on the door, phone off, and I WILL NOT log into the internet.

My computer has this cute little thing where I get a little prompt in the bottom right corner of my computer screen telling me when I have an e-mail. Definitely have to keep that turned off every morning. If I allow myself to check one e-mail I already know it will then become clicking the link to look at one news story or someone’s blog and then before you know it I have spent my entire scheduled writing time, not writing but goofing off on the internet.

So be forewarned, do not call between seven and nine in the morning, I am writing. I’ll call you back when I get home from the gym, or maybe in the car on the way to the gym.

If I reply to an e-mail from you and I have done so between seven and nine you have my permission to whack me on the back of the head.

Do we have a deal? Okay, so I have made myself accountable to you for doing what I said I would do, anything I can do to help you? I have nothing but time …. well except for between seven and nine in the morning.