My Dogs are Human Whisperers

I think maybe I’m spending too much time with the dogs.

I’ve showed you pictures of my dog Bodhi but will again because he is the coolest dog ever. He is an Akita/Golden Retriever Mix.

My housemate has two dogs, a female Boston Terrier named Ollie and a male ______ terrier (insert appropriate breed(s), I have no clue) named Zephyr (affectionately called Zephy). Personally, he reminds me of "Alf", same hair do.

The little dogs are nice enough to me, although there are times when they act like devil spawn. They don’t like strangers much, particularly male strangers, have been known to nip at more than one.

But, dogs being dogs, they get bored. The little dogs don’t like being outside that much, especially when it is cold and boy has it been cold. Bodhi kinda likes the cold, but then the Akita in him is made for that kind of weather.

So, I sit and do whatever it is I am doing (usually something of little or no consequence, TV, reading, writing, playing). The dogs yip and yap and want to go out. I let them out the back door and within seconds Ollie comes running back in pushing the door open as she does so.

A few minutes later Zephy follows. Then with the door open the house gets cold and I get up to coax Bodhi back into the house.

Twenty minutes later the whole process starts again. They are dogs, what else they gonna do?

But, I find myself just getting annoyed, up and down, door gets pushed open, it gets cold, get the dogs in, warm up the house and out they want to go again.

Why do I think I am spending too much time with them?

I start to treat them as if they are human, and I talk to them.

Okay, lots of people talk to their pets. When I realized last night though, as I wrangled the pooches back into the house for what seemed like the millionth time I was saying, “Thank you for coming in when I called”. Out loud, mind you.

Then I proceed to continue a conversation, “Okay, now everybody go lie down. Good dogs.” Twenty minutes later they are yipping, at the door and Bodhi is pawing at me like he’s gonna burst if I don’t let him out that very minute. Again, I’m reasoning with him, a dog. “Buddy, you just went out, I know you don’t really need to go out again, can you wait a minute?” He paws a few more times til I’m finally tired of not being able to convince the dogs that I am the leader of this pack and I get up and open the door again to let them out.

I secretly think they are laughing at me. Between them they are having a conversation something to the effect of “Okay guys, wait til she’s comfortable again, wait ….. wait ….., okay now, let’s make her get up and let us out, this is gonna be fun.” And they go outside and laugh. “Okay it’s been about a minute, go ahead Ollie go back in, leave the door open, Zephy you follow about 30 seconds later”.

Now which is worse, that I speak out loud to the dogs as if they were humans, or that I think the dogs are laughing at me and conspiring to make me crazy while they laugh.

I gotta get a life.