Vacation and Home Again

Wow, I feel like I dropped off the face of the earth for a while.


It feels like I haven’t written in months.

No, I mean it feels like I haven’t written anything, and in reality it has been more like weeks.

But, I’m back. Belize was wonderful. For one thing, it was 85 degrees on land and 82 degrees in the water, now how can you complain about that? Especially when back home in Nashville it was in the teens and twenties.

It rained sporadically while we were there, thundershowers, but when we weren’t already wet in the ocean, we were wetting our insides at one of any local bars or restaurants. The Belizean people were wonderful. I didn’t go on any of the extra excursions that were offered, monetary reasons. However, I spent a week relaxing and getting to know a wonderful group of fellow divers that I hope I will be friends with for a long time.

The pictures included here are not ones that I took, well except for the one of the dive boat -- I took that one. The other pictures I took are still stuck on a memory card, but that’s another story, hopefully I’ll have them to post someday soon. Dr. John Munro, a local dentist, and amazing photographer and wonderful person, took all the other pictures. Thank you John for allowing me to use your pictures here.

So before you ask, yes we dove with Nurse Sharks, they were amazing, docile and at one point, I even got to pet one. I wasn’t as thrilled with the Green Moray Eel, but it still is amazing to see.

So about the writing ….

About three weeks ago, I did just a tiny bit of tweaking to the manuscript of the book. I feel I have done all I can at this point so at the beginning of next month I write the check to the editor for her services. Her original edit may only take a couple of weeks so then I fix what needs fixin’ and then I think I get to try and find an agent and send my work out into the world. Can you tell that I am already in a panic?

So the rules, if you will, for being a writer, (which is what I call myself, remember?): The rules are that you should write every day. Doesn’t have to be a story, or on a book, it just has to be writing of some type …even a blog post counts. There are all kinds of things that people use to get their creative juices flowing, the help them get story ideas.

So why haven’t I written anything in several weeks?

I can only chalk it up to fear, mortal fear.

I have had a couple story ideas. But remember that pesky internal critic I have talked about? Pesky hardly describes it these days. I’m thinking I’m just gonna give it a name so I can call it something … I think I’ll call it FIC. Okay, not very original but describes it well enough .... F*#%ING INTERNAL CRITIC.

I can have whole conversations in my head all about how I can’t write anything that anyone will consider worth reading, that I will write that one thing, my memoir, and nothing else and maybe that one thing won’t even be published. I fret over am I trying to write a novel? A short story? A magazine piece? A poem?

Then there is nothing, it is as if I am frozen. Afraid FIC is right, afraid I will fail at what I have started.

I have gotten advice, from people who know these things about ways to get going again, things to start me writing again, creatively and I’m going to do whatever it takes because despite the fear I truly do believe I have more in me to write.

In the meantime, I am afraid I might have to go out and start looking for a part time job again to pay for some more travel; that just can’t be beat.